Not ashamed of my birth certificate

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Movers List. Why on earth was I there, you may ask? I made a choice. A misguided choice, but still a choice. I was stronger than my mum and we both knew it. So I chose, it would be me. At an age where I was supposed to be exploring what being in my body felt like for me, I was being passed around like an object so others could explore my body.

Night after night I would go numb. I would silence the inner voice screaming to leave, with valium, alcohol because I was nineteen, according to my forged birth certificate , and sleep deprivation. I was in all out survival mode, and I was experiencing guilt, shame, and invasion again and again. The longer I stayed silent, the stronger it all became. I was a good little girl and kept my mouth shut, doing what I thought I had to do to survive.

Be quiet. Say nothing. Just oblige. I stayed a few weeks and spent many hours, sleepless days, and countless showers trying to wash away the shame I was carrying. Many people will blame my mum.

Some always will. But I spent many years condemning her, and the world of victimhood sucked me in deep. In order to heal and move on, I needed to accept the decision we had both made.

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And I needed to accept that, like all humans, she did the best she could with what she had at the time. Please know there was anger there, and at times there still is. Sometimes I feel hurt, let down, and all the rest. But I choose to rise above it, and I choose a new future for myself by letting go of the need to be a victim in any of this.

Because I never was, and never will be. It all started with empathy. I had to stop believing that I was ultimately flawed because I had been a prostitute. I had to recognize that I too was doing the best I could at the time. I could not be living the life I am now, in the relationship I am with myself right now, without seeing the sixteen-year-old me with utter love and compassion, dissipating all judgment.

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I need you to know that speaking up about my shame was scary. I was outing a secret that impacted many more than just me. Yet I never hesitated in doing it. There are a number of reasons why the children do not have birth certificates and are undocumented. The Centre for Child Law said most of the children have a mother from Lesotho and a father from South Africa, with the majority of their mothers being undocumented themselves. They are then unable to register their children because they do not have South African ID documents or legitimate Lesotho passports and visas.

Some of the other children are Lesotho nationals with no claim to South African nationality. Maistry said the children would suffer irreparable damage because some of them have been denied schooling since In an earlier application, Maistry said many of the children were idle and felt ashamed of their situation.

They are out of school and unable to access any of the many essential benefits associated with an education that will allow them to participate meaningfully in society.