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Amidst the growing interest in digital well-being, we see more experts — and more individuals — charting best practices to avoid or mitigate the experience of social media envy. Before we can conquer social media envy, however, we need to understand it. I have been tied home with a son who has a disability and had to give up a number of things, travel being one of them. It was a post from a wife to her husband expressing anniversary wishes. My husband passed away about 8 months ago and we just had our 30th anniversary.

I was so wishing that was me telling my husband.


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Two friends of mine who have significant others posted a picture of them out to eat at a new restaurant near us with their partners. An old friend who I have lost touch with posted pictures from a recent all girls trip…I was envious of the strong bond her and other friends have. I wanted to be part of that group. I wanted to be there with them. I wanted the long-lasting friendship that had girls nights and vacations…I want that bond. I felt jealous that my friends with kids, have their lives together.

Their kids look happy, their homes are always meticulous, they are dressed in amazing clothes, and so are their kids. My kid is usually dressed really cute but I look a hot mess and I only have one little one.

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I wonder if people get outside help because here there is no help. Jan Crusius is a psychology professor at the University of Cologne, Germany and an expert on social comparison — a field that has turned its attention to social media envy in countries around the world. Some kinds of updates seem particularly likely to trigger envy pangs. In our survey, vacation and travel photos were the number one cause of social media envy, followed closely by posts that showcased money, wealth, or lifestyle.

Still, not all envy is created equal. Our survey bears out this pattern.

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That phenomenon was particularly strong among women, who were twice as likely to be triggered by casual friends than by close friends. A former co-worker of mine just got a very good job with the city and was bragging about it on Facebook. I was very happy for him, but also extremely envious, because I am at the same job he was at, but he had the guts to go out and land that job.

My best friend recently bought a house, while I because of financial troubles have had to move back home with my mom and dad. I was jealous of his back deck, his fireplace, his giant TV above the mantle, the guest room, the other guest room, the office for him, the office for her, the list goes on and on. I am part of a group that focuses on a specific way of eating keto.

Quite often, group members post pictures showing their weight loss.

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There was one woman who is my age and had close to the same starting weight. She has lost a considerable amount of weight and looks spectacular. I felt envious. This post was from a direct sales person I follow. She is known to have bullied some former co-workers. She went live to show us her new vacation home and said she was on her way to buy a new boat…It seems some people who are intentionally bad towards others still have a way of getting ahead.

A friend had posted about their trip to a luxury resort that I could not afford if I saved up for the next five years of my life. They humblebragged about how hard it was to take time off work to go. I have a terrible, menial, low-paying job and they basically lucked into a high-paying, cakewalk job where they get to hobnob with celebrities once a week.


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  6. I wished I could get that kind of attention and display that level of talent. That emotional punch can have a real impact on our offline relationships, affecting our feelings for those who would otherwise be near and dear: Nearly 1 in 10 of our respondents reported that seeing an envy-triggering post from a friend or family member actually made them like that person less though nearly as many reported that an envy-triggering post made them like that person more — proof that some relationships are strong enough to withstand a little online envy.

    The majority of our survey respondents who experienced social media envy also reported taking specific steps to mitigate it. The most common strategy is to simply go offline.

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    Some also use unfriending or unfollowing as a tool to manage envy, or turn to meditation or self-reflection to get out of the envy spiral. Yet many people in our survey — a third of those who reported experiencing envy in the past month — did nothing to address the problem, and seemed instead to treat social media envy as part of the price of life online.

    And there are steps we can take to handle our feelings, even as we stay online. When we engage with social media actively ourselves — by posting, sharing, commenting, reacting — that depressive effect disappears. We can learn how to revel in our own lives by helping other people celebrate theirs. That recommendation lines up with my own experience as a compulsive social media user and professional social media trainer and consultant.

    On the dangers of social media narcissism, I have no comment. We can also rethink what we share. Recognizing the ubiquity of social media envy should encourage us to take some responsibility for the image we project online, which means having some empathy for how our updates affect other people. I was jealous that he was on vacation and having such a good time while I was stuck at work. I wished that my family was as happy as his appeared to be.

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    A friend kept posting about all of these places she always goes. Sometimes she is not even in the pictures that she posts so I wonder if they are all even true. The post was about a family who travels a lot, and they were going to a tropical island yet again for all to see. I would love for my family to be able to afford a vacation this summer.

    We have to be really conservative with our money and therefore cannot even think about going somewhere like a tropical island. I am thinking about closing my Facebook account because of this. There was a post on Facebook of someone showing off vacation pics with their children, and husband.

    It made me feel bad as I realized I will likely never have a family due to my being divorced, and in a tremendous amount of medical bill debt. It is one of the reasons I stopped visiting Facebook daily.

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    You just need to scrutinize the cumulative impact of your profile to assess whether it reflects a generally accurate picture of your life. My personal practice is to cap myself at one unrepentant brag per month. You might also limit the audience for your envy-inducing posts by thinking carefully about who sees each of your updates.

    You can do this easily on Facebook by using lists to target different kinds of updates to different people. It could be harmful to have any amount of alcohol as a young body can't cope with alcohol the same way a fully grown adult can. Remember the legal age for the purchase and consumption of alcohol in the UK is If you want to speak to someone about your own drinking, call Drinkline on 7 24hrs.

    If you live in Greater Glasgow and Clyde you can arrange an appointment with someone to get support with your drinking. Find out more about the effects of alcohol. Head back to the Choices for Life campaign page. Stay calm if someone drinks too much by reading these top tips from the Ambulance Service.

    What you should do if things go wrong Don't panic, the Ambulance Service is there to help you in this situation. If you roll them right over then they will not be able to breathe properly, as their own body weight may stop them from breathing. This is the time to send or phone for the Ambulance by dialling , giving the exact location of the person.